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This is where we have to toss aside our excuses, hiding places, and “help me sleep at night theology”. Things like: “I just want someone to like me for me.” To some degree this is actually true. “I have this friend who wasn’t attracted at all to her spouse but she eventually became attracted and they now have a great marriage, 100 children who are all missionaries etc.”. First was she really not attracted or was other stuff in the way? And my Missouri Tigers win a football conference title. The truth is, we are afraid we aren’t attractive or that we can’t attract the right person.

What we really mean is, “I want someone who I’m attracted to who will like me for me.” So we have to watch the double standard. “If God wants it to happen it will.” This just drives me crazy – and I used to say it. But the problem is that we don’t do it for any other area of life. God won’t let you end up with the wrong person right? I once dated a girl who was always talking about this other guy she was not “romantically” attracted to.

Also, there are physical traits that you look for in a spouse in hopes of passing down to your children.

For example, height, athleticism, ethnicity, features, etc.

We say that we want everyone to be married, but we don’t help anyone figure out how to get there. ) writes, “A woman doesn’t start talking to a man and say to herself, ‘wow, this guy seems very smart and funny. In other words things in my life can make me more or less attractive, and can affect how attracted I am to certain people. How do I handle myself when I’m extremely attracted?

Here’s the truth, you could learn more about attraction from one online seminar by a secular dating “expert” than you could from 20 years of attending church, reading Christian authors and being in small group. What I mean is that initially you don’t choose to be attracted. But we have to begin to understand this and work on being attractive and attracted in the right way.

By Sean Doherty “Our pastoral experience over the years has demonstrated again and again that when a gay man marries, this is not only inappropriate for him, but this can absolutely destroy his wife.”As a predominantly same-sex attracted man, Jeremy’s comment here is the kind of attitude I often encounter when people find out that I used to consider myself to be gay.

attraction and christian dating-87attraction and christian dating-9attraction and christian dating-20

But we can’t do any of that if we refuse to deal with the reality that it matters – immensely. However, we have to engage this to fight through the lie.

It’s right to acknowledge that there is far more to marriage than sex, and that other factors (such as mutual respect, commitment, companionship, a shared sense of calling, faith in Christ) are indispensable criteria for a couple trying to discern whether they should marry or not. Any couple considering marriage should be really sure that they are sexually attracted to one another – whether either of them experience same-sex attraction or not.

If you aren’t attracted to someone, you shouldn’t marry them!

But if there is genuine sexual attraction between a man and a woman, the fact that one of them also experiences same-sex attraction shouldn’t necessarily be a barrier to them marrying.

At the same time, don’t get too hung up on the same-sex attraction aspect of things.




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While Kopitiam is a place to hang out and chat, annoying threads which make no sense at all will be deleted and offenders warned. Threads in Serious Kopitiam subforum are threads where you may only post constructive and helpful comments. The various religion group / fellowship threads in Serious Kopitiam are an exception to this rule as the threads serve as a place for people who share the same faith / belief to mingle peacefully.


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